You are about to embark on a life changing journey. This is exciting, even exhilarating. Like setting off on any journey, especially to a destination that you have never been to before. Even one that you hardly dared believe was possible for you to make and to arrive at. But it is possible with the right preparation and the right guidance at the right time – it is this combination that will finally get you there, to this “promised land.” You are in good hands. This is life changing work and I am a life changing guide.
WHen we make life changes we find ourselves in a whole new unfamiliar territory, we feel lost with no signposts no landmarks. This is scary stuff. It can feel so scary and unfamiliar that we may even feel like we have left the planet. I have navigated my way through many changes in my lifetime and thankfully each one was difficult and scary at the time, but lead me to a whole new world that I couldn’t have even imagined at earlier time.
The new world for you probably isn’t even in view YET.
This is an inner journey that can often feel like you’ve signed up to climb Mount Everest.
You’re getting kicked out of the land of misery – you can’t live there any longer – you don’t like the inhabitants – they think you think too much of yourself. And all you want to do is to stop creating havoc in your life. But Misery can’t take hopeful people…the minute you become hopeful – you have put yourself outside misery world. They don’t want to hear about it – they want to enjoy their own misery and to do this they have to drag you down to their size.
But that’s both the good news and the bad news…You are in neither place now. You don’t know where you belong anymore. You are outside their world and not yet in anywhere else. This is a very uncomfortable space. Its a very vulnerable space.
One of the unconscious reasons that you were part of that club was your deep-seated need to belong. It is one of our deepest driving forces. We are social beings at our core and we need to part of something…part of a group, even if that group is destructive for us.
So strong is our desire to belong – we will unconsciously sabotage our good efforts and successes, leading us straight back to the old group that we know and are familiar with …even if they are praising our failures. You see unconsciously that is the sticking gel of the misery group – we are all failures here So to leave the misery group you have to begin to face the bully “and why…who do think you are….what makes you so different to the rest of us”.
So can you feel that…that need to belong. Are you getting pictures of where that happens in your life. It happens in families too. Probably where it starts and is the strongest and hardest to break free of, because of the strong emotional bond. But it happens in the social arena, in groups…work places, anywhere there is a group that gathers and forms. Groups all have their own agendas, their own unwritten codes. We are in this group because we identify with others in it. Our sense of identity gets reinforced in the group. We become identified with the group. We form a bond that is coded with the hidden needs of the group. For this reason it can be very difficult to pull away, to find ourselves outside of the group. It is lonely, vulnerable and scary.
That’s why you have made the right decision to ask for help. It makes it do much easier to have someone guide as you go through this stage of the journey, someone who understands the scary bits and where they can lead you to. They can be so destructive.
Together we will navigate this wilderness. I can hold your hand, guide through the potholes of your feelings and emotions, help you understand what and why you are feeling this way and what to expect and how to find your next stepping stone. The beginning can be difficult because we have to find our way. We have a rough map – but your journey hasn’t been taken by anyone else before, so we don’t have a fully formed pathway yet. But we will.
So let’s have a look at the map that we do have and lets begin to plan your route out of misery world.
For now you can lean on me as I will be your therapist your guide and your trainer through this process of uncovering and creating supportive beliefs, values and core strenghts. This will give you the confidence to need and deserve.
You will learn so much about yourself and you will learn new skills and create new belief that up to now you dare not even imagine. These will go with you through life and you will be so strong – you will know you are invincible once you have learned who you are at the core of your being. As long as you are human, you will feel lonely vulnerable and scared – but the difference is your will not sink into these feelings or get swallowed up with them as you did in the past. Instead you will know how to tap into your core strenght and sore way above them.
There are 7 stages to our journey. Here are the signposts to guide our path.
1. Desire – you want to change – for yourself.
2. Core Belief- Who you are and what you believe about yourself
3. Identity – You are powerful, healthy and worthy.
4. Conflict Resolution – Stop the self sabotage and internal conflict
5. Self Talk – Your words and thoughts create change in your cells
6. Repetition – As you consistently do and think differently you create new neural networks in your brain.
7. Trigger Release – The subconscious triggers can be redirected to cause positive feelings and reactions to the old triggers.
This is about freedom – not just from addiction – but through this made journey you will have mastered many of life hurdles. Freedom is your destination and peace joy and fulfilment are your reward. While it is essential that you do this for you – another reward is that everyone these benefits spread to everyone you care about and come in contact with.
Lets get started!